Infertility is a hard issue to deal with any time of the year. But when a holiday like Halloween rolls around — when every ad on TV has giddy children in costumes — it can be especially tough.
Maybe you’re feeling jealousy toward the moms walking around the neighborhood with their little ones. Maybe you feel isolated because you’re the only woman in your group of friends without a child who’s going trick-or-treating. Maybe you feel hopeless, like sharing a Halloween with your own son or daughter is never going to happen for you.
Whatever you’re feeling, know that it is completely, 100% normal. And you’re not alone.
Although we can’t fully control our emotions, we can keep them from taking over. Here are some self-care strategies to help you get through Halloween when you’re dealing with infertility:
Just say no. If being around little ones is going to make you sad, don’t be afraid to turn down invitations for kids’ Halloween parties. You’re allowed to skip your neighbor’s get-together if you think it will set you into a negative state. Take some time to explore your limits and triggers, and do your best to avoid potentially upsetting situations.
Write in a journal. The best way to deal with emotions is to work through them, and journaling is a fantastic way to do that. Use your journal as a place for you to be completely honest. Let yourself speak your truth. Explore what’s causing you emotional pain and the deeper (maybe hidden) reasons behind your feelings. Your journal is a safe space where you can say whatever you want, and no one has to know. So make some time this week to unbottle your feelings by writing in a journal.
Lean on someone for support. You don’t have to go through this, or any other phase or infertility, alone. If you’re feeling jealous, tell someone. If you’re feeling sad, tell someone. If you’re feeling hopeless, tell someone. A romantic partner is a great person for this because he/she can likely relate to what you’re going through. A parent, sibling, or friend will be great too. Tell him/her how they can best support you and help you through this time.
Tap into others’ joy. Sharing in the joy of others is a great way to zap yourself out of a negative spiral. Instead of focusing on how this holiday makes you feel, take a few minutes to look at how much joy it brings others, and be happy for them. Take yourself out of your situation and share in the excitement of the sweet kids around you. (If you need some fuel, click here to check out some cute, happy Halloween Fertility Center babies!)
Make time for self-care. Knowing that Halloween may be a tough day for you is half the battle. Plan moments throughout the day where you will be gentle with yourself. Enjoy a nice cup of tea. Eat nourishing foods. Avoid tense situations at work. Watch a great movie. Take a soothing warm bath. Read. Burn a lavender-scented candle. Make time to do the things that make you happy and feel at peace.
Let yourself feel, then let go. Let yourself feel however you feel. Acknowledge your emotions and spend a few minutes really experiencing them. And then choose to let them go. Don’t over-indulge the negative emotions or they can start to take over your life. Those feelings are a part of you, but they are not YOU. You are so much more than your infertility and your struggles — don't let yourself forget that!
If you’re struggling with the emotional struggle of infertility, we can discuss further treatment at your next appointment. Call us anytime at 717-747-3099 or click on the button below.