Children are such an essential part of holiday celebrations – their wonder, their joy, and their hyper excitement about gifts. But it can also be painful to be around children at the holidays, especially if you’re hoping for a child of your own. Being around children of friends and family isn’t the same as having your own, and sometimes it can make the void in your life seem worse when you’re around kiddos.
It’s totally normal to feel the stress at this time of year, especially if you have hopes and dreams of a little one of your own. So how can you cope?
Strategies for You
Prepare an answer to the often asked question about when you’ll be having kids. It can be hard to answer. If it’s someone you don’t know very well, say, at a party, you can maybe play it off with some humor and vague response, “We’re working on it, and having a little fun while we try.” But if it’s someone you know very well, you might feel like sharing some details. If you don’t want to talk about it, you can certainly say something vague, like,“It’s an ongoing discussion.”
Be choosy. You don’t have to head to every holiday event you are invited to. If there are any events or people you might be dreading to be around because of your situation with fertility, it’s fine to tactfully decline. You can say you have other plans, or you’re trying to slow down this holiday season.
Try to work around. If there’s an event you were invited to you feel you should attend, but you think it will hurt you too much, try a new plan. If it’s a children’s holiday recital or play, skip it, but meet up (maybe with a gift) with the crew later. If it’s a family baking event, stay in the kitchen while the moms with babies hang in another room, or just stop by a party after the kiddos are in bed.
Call on your friends. Just like everything else in life, your journey of infertility can sometimes be smooth, and sometimes be rough. In those rough times, reach out to friends or family who support you. Get a hug, grab a cup of coffee, or ask someone to listen to you vent. Even if just for a moment, it will help with the stress.
We hope the holidays are some time you can relax and enjoy, even with the added stress of trying to have a baby. If you have any questions about the next steps of your fertility journey, or would like to make some decisions for your family this holiday season, please contact us anytime at 717-747-3099 or click on the button below. If you’d like to learn a bit about us and our experience, you can check out our free webinar here.
Dr. Melanie Ochalski